BUT I HEARD IT ON THE BEST AUTHORITY SO IT MUST BE TRUE

The 2 girls sat on the school wall; socks dangling down their ankles and legs swinging rhythmically. They were sucking huge color changing gobstoppers and talking about things they were too young to know about.

‘Jemima told me when you’re 16 you HAVE to start smoking-it’s the law’

‘Yeah and I heard when you’re 18 you have to drink a pint of beer a day otherwise you get fined’

‘I’m not gonna do it. Samantha Cartwrights' sister smokes and she talks all croaky and deep. She’ll never get married sounding like that’

‘Well, I don’t think she wants to get married anyway….she’s too busy working’

‘Who doesn’t want to get married. My mum said any one who doesn’t is a thespian or hasn’t got the sense they were born with’

‘Ooh d’ya know what Michael Barton told me. He said if you get over 8 out of 10 in this weeks maths test you get the whole week off school’

‘Well I’ve no chance. I don’t know the difference between a triangle and a rectangle’

‘Well I want a whole week off so I’m gonna do some studying for it. If I get it, I’m going swimming, cinema, shopping, to the park, to the seaside….’

‘Who’s gonna take you?’

‘My stepdad. He doesn’t do anything but watch telly all day, so he’ll be glad of something to do’

‘Where’s he gonna get the money from?’

‘Listen to this. Every fortnight he goes to a big building, writes down his name and 2 days later he gets a piece of paper which he swaps @ the post office for money, then he spends it on beer and crisps. I’m gonna be like him when I get older. He tells me he gets paid for watching television; then telling someone what he thinks of the programmes’

‘I’m gonna do that too. Do you think you need maths to do that job?

30/1/00 WG